TRAVEL

Road Trip to Barcelona
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Road Trip to Barcelona

Introduction

Hi there!

My Name is Nancy Le Rogers and I am a failed luvy actress with a rich husband who used his influence to persuade a television company to allow my infantile false grin to meet and greet your less fortunate bonce on Holiday Out of Your Reach!

I can't wait to sun every rippled fold of my stomach on a beach somewhere at your expense! Remember all our holidays are based on a family of 8 upper crusters and three men servants sharing a seven star palace in a golden paved paradise near you!!! We will be telling you about all the exclusive locations and sights that your meager salary will never afford. Don't you wish you let your wife take that part time cleaning job now? Where's your pride got you now hey mister? But you have to be the bread winner don't you? How quaint.

Anyway I digress (as is the privilege of a star), it has been brought to the attention of my PA Deborah (lovely girl, wonderfully cheap) that some of my less competent viewers would like to hear about an "ordinary" holiday and indeed I believe the word "affordable" was mentioned at some stage.

Well I thought what a wonderful opportunity for a social experiment! How fascinating to watch ordinary people forced into being resourceful in a foreign land. I wonder how they will cope with the language when they so struggle to speak their own? Ohh and the foreign money! I think a crash course in the basic principles of mathematics would be useful. We wouldn't want anyone to end up paying £15 for a plate of three year old ham now would we?

So out of all the terrible applications one stood out as particularly sickening. It was from two chaps from north London who genuinely thought that driving from the south of France to Barcelona (in a car!) would be a productive way to spend five days.

"Willo" as the applicant described himself, seemed almost delighted to point out that the route chosen would take them through the Principality of Andorra. They seemed devoid of any class or redeeming features whatsoever. Excellent I thought, the perfect guinea pigs for my amusing little game.

The only stumbling point seemed Willo's companion "Jimbo" who claimed that he was part of a Police witness protection program and that he couldn't be photographed by our cameras. At which point I thought to hell with it. Then it occurred to me this could be the chance to get my mitts on the presenting job I have always craved; Crimewatch UK. If Jimbo was spotted on our show and murdered or viciously mutilated the producers would probably want to interview yours truly for the reconstruction.

Anyway 30 seconds of lap stroking later and "Jimbo" was persuaded that he could be photographed wearing a hat or in heavy shade. His voice was dubbed by an actor, one without an excessively high voice as he requested.

Have a look at the silly little route they took!